deal with a jealous partner

Jealousy is a part and parcel of romantic relationships. A small amount is desirable and even cute. But what do you do when your partner gets way too jealous too often? Here is how you can deal with a jealous partner in different ways to ensure a healthy relationship.

– Understand their triggers

Jealousy does not just pop out of nowhere. There is always a trigger. Often, that trigger links back to some memory, negative experience, or trauma. If your partner is jealous over little things, then you need to get to the core of the problem. Identify and understand the triggers: are they jealous when they see with you with people of the opposite gender; are they jealous because they think you might be cheating on them; have they been cheated on before; do they tend to overthink and overanalyze situations, leading to misunderstanding? The more you understand what the problem is and how it is triggered, the easier it will be for you to manage their outbursts or tantrums stemming from jealousy.

– Help them express openly

Here is also how you can deal with a jealous partner. Not all jealous people can openly express the feeling. Those that do, admit that it is much more than just mental uneasiness, it translates into physical discomfort too and they do not understand how to control it. However, being able to express and feeling safe to do so without the fear of a fight, often makes them realize where their jealousy is coming from. It is easier to calm them down that way. Remember to create a safe space for your partner to express all feelings, including jealousy so both of you can work on it.

– Avoid complicated situations

If you know that a specific situation triggers your partner, like being alone with someone or going to a certain place like a strip club or pub, then maybe you can avoid it until the problem is worked upon. It is also advisable to stay in touch with them at intervals and not give them too many reasons to overthink and wonder who you’re with. We’re not saying you should succumb to their jealousy or give in to any sort of control but doing little things to pacify them can go a long way.

– Calm them down with reason instead of attention overdose

Many people tend to handle a jealous partner down by showering love and affection and attention, while many others tend to show anger and frustration. But that isn’t the right way. All this is no more than a temporary band-aid to a fracture. Instead of this love flooding, or outburst, try to reason with them. They’re being emotional already, you cannot counter that with excess emotions, either positive or negative. Help them understand their own thought process, which is often unrealistic, fictional and a result of overthinking. Help them rationalize their emotions. Eventually they’ll learn to do this themselves and that can help in permanently reducing feelings of jealousy.

– Take efforts to ensure they don’t feel left out

Here’s what to do if your partner is jealous. If you’re out at a party, make sure to include them in your activities. They might be feeling left out seeing you mingle with other people and that might be a trigger for their jealousy. Accommodating them in your routine is a good way of letting them know that they’re important to you and that they don’t need to worry about anyone else coming in between.

Finally, you need to know how much is too much. Jealousy is a tough issue to get rid of. If you feel despite all your efforts, they cannot stop being jealous and are restricting your movements, then maybe you need to sit them down and tell them this won’t work. Remember, it isn’t one partner’s job to keep ‘babying’ the other one. Know when enough is enough and let go if the relationship becomes too toxic due to unhealthy jealousy.